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By Jane Wenham-Jones

100 worthwhile and hilarious information for scuffling with the flab and looking out your most sensible from Jane Wenham-Jones, best-selling writer and columnist.

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North couldn’t believe he was out with this bunch of sorry-ass losers. He was platoon leader, and normally a buck sergeant would be taking a squad out on ambush. But this squad was giving his whole platoon a bad rep. Word had spread up and down III Corps: North had a squad of chickenshits who wouldn’t fight. Well, tonight, that would change. North knew that sound carries at night. Fortunately, they were only a few hundred meters from base camp. A reconnaissance team had reported “beaucoup NVA movement” a few klicks north, and the chickenshit squad was headed out to surprise a few dinks.

By the time North caught up with the squad, they were just fifty meters from the base camp perimeter. “We got lost,” shrugged Limbaugh. “The only rational thing to do was turn back,” Gingrich explained. Gramm nodded. “Gettin’ late, sir. ” The others agreed. ” North planted a pair of claymores in the high grass. That made ten in the kill zone. He ran back to the trees where his men were waiting-cowering, really. They had put in their ambush along a stream about three klicks west of the base. ” North couldn’t tell if the boy was stupid or just scared stupid.

Waylon: Hmmm. Is that anything like that E-mail stuff I’ve been hearing about? Al: Yeah. Sort of. Well, Waylon, I want to thank you. You’ve been very― Waylon: Hey! Guess what! I found that source for that nicotine, lung cancer thingy. Al: Let me guess. Tobacco Institute. Waylon: Bingo! Al: Well, this has been very helpful, Waylon. Thanks. Waylon: My pleasure. Listen, any time you guys need any information . . I got great stuff on the poor. Al: Can’t wait. Waylon: Megadittoes! Al: Megadittoes! 8 OPERATION CHICKENHAWK If you’ve spent any time listening to Limbaugh, you’ve probably heard him call Bill Clinton a draft dodger.

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